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questions to ask your father

if you've been following my blog for any length of time, you know i'm pretty close with my family - working with my dad and stepmother makes it impossible for me not to see them every day!

and if you're friends with me on facebook, you know that my dad adores me. he is pretty much the only person who consistently pokes me and i can count on him to 'like' every thing i post to my wall. 

anyway, i found this article on real simple that lists questions you should ask your mother. while i did email them to my stepmom, who has yet to get back to me... (yes, you lisa!), my dad came in the clutch and responded fairly promptly.

i wanted to run this as a super-mini-series and put their answers side-by-side because i thought the different point of views from a mother and a father would be cool, but since i don't have anything else scheduled to post, i thought i'd whip this out for you now. here it goes:

what's the one thing you would have done differently as a dad?
less quick to lose my temper

why did you chose to be with my mother?
*please note my dad is no longer with my biological mother
there's an old saying that you get married the first time because you don't know
any better, but you get married the second time because you do. i can verify that statement
as an accurate one.

i have only one good reason for getting married the first time: it brought me to you. however,
my reasons for getting married the second time are many, and include lisa's capacity
for unconditional love, her infectious enthusiasm for life, strong moral compass, radiant
beauty, and overall amazing personality.

in what ways do you think i'm like you? and not like you?
like me: you can be extremely focused and goal-oriented/not a quitter.

not like me: don't enjoy physically challenging your limits, and you take things more
personal/more emotional.

which one of us kids did you like the best?
that's like asking, 'which is more necessary for breathing, inhaling or exhaling?' it's impossible to
like one child better than the other. much like inhaling and exhaling, both of you are supremely
necessary for my continued existence.

is there anything you have always wanted to tell me but never have?
that i worry about your self-esteem and long-term health from not exercising regularly and
eating really healthy.
*editor's note: click here to read my post on body image

do you think it's easier or harder to be a father now than when you were raising our family?
in/out both have challenges. when you were in the house, i worried about instilling good values
that would allow you to make good life choices. now that you're our of the house, i worry about
whether we did a good job. so far so good!

is there anything you regret not having asked your parents?
no, i have pretty open communication when them and ask them pretty much whatever i want
to know about. for instance, on this visit i asked my dad some questions about his mother, and he
gave me full answers, although it probable wasn't what he wanted to talk about. i don't feel like
there's anything i can't ask them. they may decline to answer me, but there's nothing i won't ask.

what's the best thing i can do for you right now?
don't let me get any calls from a policeman or an emergency room.

is there anything that you wish had been different between us - or that
you would still like to change?
probably a million things, i know i made a lot of mistakes with you, for which my only defense is that
i did the best i could with the tools i had to work with at the time -- which is what i'm still doing today.

when did you realize you were no longer a child?
who says i'm not? seriously though, we all remain children in one way or another as long as our parents
are alive, and i am afraid of what that day will mean when mine are both gone.

so there you have it! i'm really glad i decided to include my dad in this, because i did learn a lot about his views as my dad. hopefully my stepmom will answer her questions soon so we can get a mother's point of view!

have a wonderful weekend!

until next time..
<3 alaina

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